I hope this helps

There are some things in life which make you cry or scream. There are other things which make you roar with laughter. There are things which change your life, moments of great intensity. There are times when you feel you cannot go on. There are times when you feel you cannot stop.

Then there are times of very little significance, at which you just have to sit back and giggle at the world around us. let this be one of those times! Hehehe

Wind down

A week left of what has in many ways been a frantic term, and in many other ways been a fairly quiet term. It's odd to once again be preparing to go home for another 5 weeks. After which we will be in exams season once more. Oh what fun!

I must apologise (once again) for a lack of blogging. However I will use the excuse of essay deadline week! And blogger not orking yesterday. he last week has been good, getting rid of two essays, and seeing Ditt again and going to planet etc. The next week promises to be a fairly relaxed one. So finally I must consider tidying my room! Ahhhhh

Be who you wanna be, B-A-R-B-I-E

One of my favourite pastimes these days is watching early morning T.V far later than I should be, and hence having to run to lectures to get there on time. It's fantastic seeing all the different TV shows. Whether it is Thomas and Friends, the incredible Sailor Sid, the ever oinking Pepper Pig or even the rather depressing Titch, it keeps us entertained for half an hour every day! Unfortunately because it happens to be on Channe 5, there are adverts.

The adverts are the same everyday. One hair product, lego, some fighting things, and a whole variety of Barbie things. From skating barbies to flying barbies, through Amish Barbie and Muslim Barbie (with full length veil). What really made me laugh was the slogan 'Be who you want to be'. That slogan for a barbie doll!?!? A doll which if it existed in real life would have died beacuse her legs are too long for her waist or something (I read about it once a long time ago). So here we have the image of conformity, the epitome of stereotypes and unfortunately what many people aim for as the ideal image, with a slogan implying individuality and self expression.

Well this week I have decided to be myself and to just forget what other people might think ( As anyone who has seen me will know). I don't write this looking for praise or applauding myself. I do this instead for two reasons. Firstly to help reassure myself that it is ok for me to be me! And secondly to encourage everyone to be exactly who you want to be. In the end, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

Stokes' Theorem

This my friends is Stokes' Theroem. And quite frankly its great. That is, if you understand it. You see no matter how much i think about, how much it means to me, there isn't really much point in me posting it. Why? Because there will be two types of readers. Firstly there are the ones who know what it means. Mathematicians and physicists will look at it and with a knowing smile understand it completely. But they already knew it, it is useless reading something that you already know-what's the point. There would be no point in me standing up in front of a maths class and explaining Stokes' Theorem to them, or even recommending they read this blog-It's old news, barely worth the read.

The second kind of readers are those who have no idea what I am on about. But if that is the case then this will not help them either. You can't understand it just from this formula. It would require someone to come and find me afterwards and ask me to explain it. If anything it would just cause confusion. So what is my point?

The only remaining justification for me posting this riddle of an equation is self-expression. However I might as well just go and write it on a piece of paper rather than writing it up here and causing confusion.

Oh dear

A whole week since I last blogged. Not very impressive at all. Though i will mention that it is not entirely my fault. I have written several blogs which were simply not good enough! Taj will identify with suh writings. So I have resorted to writing one just because I haven't written one for ages, and to let everyone know what has been going on recently i guess!

Was away for the weekend in sunny Whitby which was grrreeeatt! While I was there I went to see a play which was fantastic. One of the issues the play covered was people trafficking. Rather than watse time reading further musings and mumblings from me, go to http://www.stopthetraffik.org/ and read about something very important that actually matters.

You mean I actually got it right?!?

I am swelling in pride at the moment, momentarily. Then I shall return to my usual state of general incompetence as I slog away at my essay. But I wont forget this moment. Moments like this don't come very often. Actually the moment I refer to occured a few hours ago at approximately 2.30ish. It was in a maths tutorial, with a legend of a tutor. Following his little intro, everyone was working on a question, or just putting on a thoughtful face so that the tutor wouldn't ask a question. In fact that is my tactic most tutorials. Sit there with a puzzled face. It's an art though. You have to look puzzled enough that they wont ask you to go through it, yet not puzzled enough to look as though you need any help. I find that if you moderately tax the brain with a problem such as what to have for lunch, whilst staring intently and flicking through your notes, the desired effect is reached.

Anyway on this one occasion I was wandering through the wilderness of mathematical madness when I stumbled upon rare jungle gold. Just like that, out of the dark and dusty cobweb filled corners of my mind came a flash of inspiration. And BANG there was the answer. I was so shocked I had to ask the affectionately named 'Maths Richard' sat next to me to check the answer. Answer checked ,I tentatively put up my hand. The very intelligence of some of the people in the room, and the fact that no one else had the answer yet, put more then a dram of caution in my mind. The tutor came over, peered at the scruffy paper, and with a voiceof bewilderment only matched by the amazement inside me, he declared that 'yes...that's right...that's perfect, exactly right'. His response should indicate that it is not often I that comes up with the answer first. Taj was in disbelief (As he knows that it is very rare for me to actually work in tutorials), however here I stand, basking in the fact that I was right.

I don't mean to sound arsey or arrogant. I think everyone would admit that when you are right, it is an amazing feeling, especially as for most people it doesn't happen very often, so yeah, just thought I'd share that feeling with y'all!

The Library

I come to you direct from the computer room on the ground floor of the library! One of the most mysterious places on Earth (And one of the most daunting!)

These last few days have been fairly exciting. We got a house on Monday, yesterday I went to see the Merchant of Venice...erm, well ok that consitutes an exciting few days for me!

Also had Valentines Day of course. Though I feel that day has had enough press already so I wont bother delving into it, and ripping it to shreds.

Well I don't really have anything else to ponder upon at this time, so I shall leave you with some words to ponder upon yourselves.

'I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what' Harper Lee (TKAM)

Who attached lead to my eyelids?

For some reason I have had difficulty staying awake today. So I am going to give up and go to bed. Tomorrow we have all the fun of househunting! Oh yay. I am looking forward to getting a house-just not to looking for one. Not that i can't see one. There are lots around in Durham, of manhy different shapes and sizes. You see househunting is not like real hunting. The houses won't run away, they won't suddenly jump into a bush or hide or something. However it comes with problems of its own. I would like to propose three difficulties that explain why househunting never caught on whilst foxhunting did.

Firstly, imagine this. You are on a poncy foxhunt, and you are following a fox. The dogs are inches away, gnashing away (the friendly creatures they are) and then suddenly the moment before you get the fox Lord Snooty and his gang come charging through the bush to your left, snatch the fox and are gone within seconds leaving you with little more than a mouthful of dirt. Yes...the 'just missed it' when the contract has just been signed.

So a little later you catch a glimpse of another fox sitting on the floor of the wood. Great, you think. Its silky fur reflects the sun. It is truly majestic! You lick your lips and head off in mad pursuit of the fox. However as you get near, it spots you, turns around and legs it off in the other direction at what can only be described as a supersonic speed. With one last surge you continue the chase, and having forced him to the edge of a cliff, surrounded, surely victory must be yours. To your amazement the fox unfurls its wings and flies off the cliff, landing safely on a ledge a few 100 metres away. Yes this is those targets which are just impossible to get. The ones that are far too good, or out of range...

Tired, but still determined you head back into the forest. You spot a small rater scruffy figure in the distance which you think must be a fox. At last! Something that you might actually be able to catch! Off on the chase again...tearing through the wood. Closer, and closer and closer, until YES, you finally have it. But wait...you pick up the damp, sodden half dead mess before you and to your dismay realise that it is a large rat you have been chasing. The oh so unmistakable piles of rubbish that look so tempting to begin with, until you realise the damp makes the rooms like a rainforest, and that the bathroom has no toilet.

So there you go! And so as you blow your horn and set off househunting, remember those three perilous situations! Good luck and happy hunting!

Thought for the Day: 'It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well'
Rene Descartes

No cirques please, we're British!

This week has been a good week. I have spent a fair amount of it staring at maps, measuring maps and then collating data on cirques. For those who have not had the misfortune of being around me this week and do not know what a cirque is, a cirque is a small glacier, or rather a hole left by one, perched on the side and at the head of valleys. They also form the main part of my summative project this term.

SNOOOOOOOOW! Yes although it has been patchy, we have still been snowed on this week-which is very exciting. Perhaps at this point i should share my analogy which got me strange looks last week. Every morning i think about the day ahead as a field of untouched snow. Perfectly flat and covered, undisturbed. And everyday I run, dance prance and generally fall across the field. An then at the end of the day, i look back across the field, and there is a massive trail of mess and destruction behind me! But as long as I don't make too much of a mess, and provided i do get to the other side of the field, then that's ok! lol.

Thought for the Day: "Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." C.S. Lewis

The ever flexible John O'Shea

He started off his Manchester United career as a left back. Since then he has played centre back, right back, central midfield, left wing, even upfront as a striker for part of a game. Then yesterday came his biggest moment yet, playing in goal for 10 minutes at the end of the game againt 'Spurs.

This leaves right wing as the only position he has yet to play in!

Check out the video-i know it is long, but there are some great moments. Notably his punch from the free kick, and him denying Robbie Keane, 1 on 1 right near the end. Ahhh fantastic!

If you get a bit bored in the middle just try and work out what the commentators are saying!

I doubt it

Doubt-Possibly everyones favourite word. It's a strange thing doubt. Its strange how more often than not, it's difficult to see why people doubt themselves. From the outside it can be difficult to comprehend. That's because I don't think people doubt what they cannot do, but rather what they can. In general most people know what they can't do, so don't do it, or do it with no expectation. Doubt implies a given expectation that will not be lived up to. So why do we doubt?

Firstly i think we all think we are crap. No matter how well we may do at something, no matter how many times people may tell us, often we think we are rubbish. Whether it be academic, or to do with our personality, our likeability or whatever, we fail to see what others do.

In some ways this is a good way to be. It saves us from arrogance and self importance, from pride and a self belief which sets us up to fail. However it has its downsides too. Through merely believing our own opinion of ourselves, we miss out on part of who we really are. We can end up getting quite down at not living up to our own expectations or by comparing our view of ourselves, to our view of other people.

Secondly, i think it is due to the uncertainty we face. At every step there are thing which we have not done before, challenges which we have not previously encountered. These provide a perfect opportunity to question our ability. It is true, that until we try something we can't be sure that we are capable of it, but that's not necessarily a reason to believe that we are incapable.

I think the answer lies in those besides ourselves. Whereas we may have a very negative view, friends offer a far more realistic view of ourselves. That may include some healthy skepticism however will probably also offer a far less doubtful view of us, and our abilities. So next time you want to doubt yourself-go listen to a friend!

Garrr blutak is really annoying. Why does it stick to everything within a 20cm radius of it, including pens, rulers, tables, paper etc, but then the minute you stick it to a wall, it falls off!!

Children

I was lucky enough to be able to spend the evening with two wonderful children this evening, and so this blog is really 'why we should all be like children'. This may come as a surprise to some. I have in the past pointed out to people, that we must grow up. Despite the wonders of childhood, adult life presents a much more complex situation where we must act differently from children, however I aim to suggest a few characteristics maybe we should adopt from children.

Firstly there attitude. One of excitememt, and anticipation. The smallest things excite them and they always are wanting to know more. They want to meet new people, to tell others about themselves and to find out about other people. There are very few people more interested with everyday life than children. Children are often less reserved. They will have hopes, and dreams and get easily excited, but of course they will also sometimes get more upset as a result. However I think there is a lot to be said for taking the risk. I mean you have to be up high to fall. Too often adults would rather go for the middle ground. Adopt realism or pessimism, which aren't inherently bad things. Sure you never get the fall, but likewise you never get the view from the top. Children also have a very generous attitude. Within 2 or 3hrs I was given a picture, drawn for me, and a pencil! Ok it doesn't seem much, but what a sacrifice and loving gift to give to someone she had only just met.

Trust is another big 'un. Kind of linked with the last point. Often adults are too skeptical-Trust no one rather than trust everyone. And once again it is probably wise not to trust everyone as we may los a lot. However children are far more trusting. And once again, there are negative consequences. However i think it would be far better if every now and then we stuck our neck out, risked being let down and trusted those around us a little bit more.

Honesty. Now there's a difficult one. Now i will preface this one by saying that I more than see the need for tact within conversation, and being honest does not necessarily mean that just because you think something-you tell everyone! I have come to appreciate honesty and bluntness within my friends. Ok, it may hurt when they tell you something you don't want to hear. It might be difficult to swallow your pride and accept that maybe they are right. It's like when children say things they 'shouldn't say' in public. Children don't care-they tell it as it is. I think it's far better to be honest, and to have an honest friend rather than to have one who will not put you right when you are wrong, who will not tell you when you are out of order.

So there you go-a brief insight as to why I think we should all be slightly more like children

Thought for the Day: Be childlike not childish

Long time no post

I would like to apolgise for my appaulling efforts recently with the blog. Having been away last weekend, I have been consistently fairly busy and so have fallen very behind. The unfortunate truth is that I still don't have anything to write! Maybe tomorrow....

The marvel that is 'Refresh' Tea!

My head is twice the size it usually is, and twice as heavy, my eyelids are heavier than usual and i have a slightly spaced-out air about me. Unfortunately 3hrs sleep is not enough for Tim to function correctly. It's not that I haven't done it before. But it is the beginning of term so I'm not really back into the sleepless pattern . I woke up this morning, dazed and feeling horrible. A shower and some breakfast later things weren't much better. I felt dead! I went to my 9am which was a nightmare, i felt awful the whole way through, like my body was telling me I should still be asleep. Then after that lecture i struggled home, sorry to the chemistry cafe (the two are almost synonymous now!). Hrmm good word, probably completely out of context but you know what I mean.

I crawled to the counter, and heaved my heavy frame up to ask for a tea, through half-shut eyes. However rather than the usual choice I went for a 'refresh' tea. This is a mint tea, which i have had a few times before. From the first sniff, to the final sip (I decided not to chew the teabag this time) it was magical! In that 30mins, a party started inside my head! It was as though I woke up there and then. My shoulders lifted, my eyes opened, the sun shone and it was day! And I looked around and saw that it was good! That small cup kept me awake and energetic for the whole afternoon, however now I am beginning to lag again. Maybe I should buy some.

I will go now and try and get a first class ticket on the first train leaving reality. I need sleep.

Guess its just another fruitless friday

I chose the title, mainly because its not monday, and i doubt very much it will be manic. That and i wanted a more interesting title than 'Back In durham' which I fear I have used previously.

So anyway the basic jist is that I am now back in Durham. Yay! Good news is that the house is still here, and intact, and what's more I now have heat in my room! Wahoo! At last I can be warm (Though in truth I like the cold, and I'm sure it is only a matter of time before my cold heart cools the room with an icy chill) So yes, here I am, getting ready for the beginning of another manic term, which naturally begins on a monday! It's kinda like the quiet before the storm. Life is at half speed, everyone is having long lie-ins and doing nothing all day, while they can then BANG, as of Monday everything steps up a gear or two and the madness begins. Ahh I can't wait!

Thought for the Day: All women become like their mothers, that's their tragedy. No man does, and that's his. (Importance of Being Earnest)

I am still here!

And I will update properly as soon as I can think of something worth saying!

Procrastination

Ahhh work! Gotta love it! I find it very difficult to sit down and do work. So far I have mainly been doing maths, perhaps because it is easier to do than geography. My living hero is a mathemetician, Marcus Du Sautoy, a professor of maths at Oxford, this year he did the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures. One of which was on codes and featured the Baudot code, in which each letter/character consists of a combination of 5 zeros or ones (11011 or 00011). An interesting fact about this code is that it was used on Coldplays latest album X & Y, although they actually got the code wrong so it says X9Y on the front instead! Inside the back cover, written in Baudot is 'Make Trade Fair'.

Fair is an interesting word. I wonder whether it is objective or subjective. The immediate answer would be objective, and yet I wonder if there are some situations in which equality and justice are purely subjective. What is justice? A film that deals very nicely with the idea of justice and mercy is the Merchant of Venice. I purchased the DVD after Christmas for a mere £2.97. Well worth watching-a real bargain. I'll tell you what isn't a bargain though-Univeristy! Please student loan where are you? I am in need of some money! Well I suppose actually I may as well get used to debt seeing as it's going to be with me until I finally leave University and go get a real job. At this rate I might not even graduate unless I do some work.

MMVII (I already had that name before I read Taj's blog!)

My thoughts on entering my 21st calender year on this planet...

There are many things I have done that I regret, and there are many things I have not done which I wish I had. There are things I have which I wish I didn't and things I don't have, which I wish I did. There are things I wish I'd said, and things I wish I hadn't said. The list goes on.

All in all, I think I have a decision to make. Not a decision to be made once a year every year and then forgotten once the hangover has receded and the firework smoke has blown away. Instead a decision that I make every day, every minute, every second. Either I can live in the past, or I can live in the present or I can live in the future.

The problem with living in the past is that we never move on. We clutch at things gone by and cling to things, desperate to avoid change, and to hold on to what we have. We do not change, or ever get over anything, and as a result, our whole life is determined by our past.

The prolem with living in the present is that there is no perspective. There is a philosophy these days of 'Seize the moment' and 'If it feels good it must be ok'. However if we live only in the prsent, then our actions and motives will not outlast that moment. It is a very self centred and myopic viewpoint that bears no thought for what is yet to come.

The problem with living in the future is that the future is not definite. Well, at least most of it...We may have dreams, ideas and aspirations, but to live in wait for them is to miss out on the here and now. It can be easy to always be looking forward to a future event...'I just can't wait to...' but then often when we get there, we can start looking for something else. The glitch is that our idea of the future can be extreme- eiher rosey or thorny! It lacks the reality that comes from it actually coming to pass.

I think that you need an equal measure of past, present and future. The past cannot be ignored and forgotten, the present will have consequences and the future will only arrive via a journey through the present. (That is timewise-I am NOT reffering to having to journey through a large gift)

I don't usually make open New Years Resolutions but I feel this one is general enough to be aired! Last year was amazing and I wont forget it. This year I want to be better to my friends and those close to me, learn from my mistakes, do loads of new stuff (list to follow) try and get rid of the horrible parts of me and live my life with an eternal perspective. Not that I am going to achieve that all, or that I have, but that I will try. I can't fail-merely achieve to different degrees!

Happy New Year!

ROOOAAARR! I am the weather monster!

Yay! It's raining. I'm not talking about a bit of drizzle, nor a light drizzle. If rain is a Lada, this is a Ferrari! Ooh yes you have got to love storms. Unless of course you live on a floodplain. I might add that if this is the case then count yourself unlucky as development on floodplains has been banned on all but two European countries, and you live in one of them! In fact they are encouraging it in the Uk....strange....Anyway i digress! So here I am sat next to my window with it open, getting a little wet watching the storm. Alas it is nearly over now-they are always so short in England!

Something else that is nearly over is Christmas. Yes, after 4 days of festivities and fun with family and friends not to mention the food and general frivoloties. Oooh a whole lot of 'f's...how...clever!
I won't go into detail but I have been all the way down to bath and back, been a on a nice proper walk, and played traditional family games, inbetween eating. I also found time to do a quick spot of shopping. And so we move into the New Year celebrations...I'm off to Oxford tomorrow, for 2 days, which should be grreeeaaat! (As my friend Tony would say)

Well having written 2 paragraphs of pointless drivel, i won't change that now. I have been fairly busy and haven't had a lot of time to think, so maybe i'll do that later when i get back.

Finally, if anyone has ANY IDEA how to do a Rubicks cube, i HATE you! But don't tell me...i WILL do it!!

Happy Christmas and all that...

Happy Christmas! Yes it may be late, however it is the first real opportunity i have had to sit down and write something. I had a lovely day yesterday and also today, seeing my grandparents and spending time with the family etc etc. I got some really great presents too...I think i will maybe cover them a bit later, once the mayhem has died down a little.

So yes, i hope everyone had a joyful and merry (though not too much) Christmas and that you all got lots of lovely presents. Just thought seeing as its one of the most important times of year for people such as me, I should probably at least give it a mention. I was actually given Richard Dawkins latest book the God Delusion for christmas, and have started reading it-a very good read, and even better for taking apart the arguments one by one! Not that this time isn't important for everyone-I don't wish to belittle the family-time people enjoy or the meaning and attachment it may have to people, but i believe there is something distinctly more profound to Christmas.


I got sent this picture last year and think its still pretty relevant. Its sometimes hard to see through all the wealth, and affluence at a time like Christmas when there is such extravagence and distraction but on the other hand sometimes it is a time when people are reminded of the state our world is in. The outlook is pretty crap. Ok yeah there's good stuff, but theres a whoooollle load of bad stuff-and i'm sure i don't need to tell you about that! You see I think the world is pretty much in need of a saviour. Maybe you disagree, but I look around and I don't see much that suggests we're ever gonna sort ourselves out. I can't even sort myself out or look after myself!

So here's the good news. 'The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned'. Tada! So that's what Christmas is about for me. God's big plan for how to save the world, started by a miraculous birth 2000 years ago, exactly as was predicted. That's worth celebrating!